Music & Lyrics

Mein guter alter Vater war ein guter alter Zecher
Und auch die liebe Mutter griff gerne mal zum Becher
Weil die beiden soffen, soffen wie die Löcher
Schenkte er ein letztes Mal ein
Freund Hein

Manchen Weggefährten gab er zeitig einen mit
Die genossen viel zu früh was von seinem Sprit
So zogen sie von dannen auf einem letzten Ritt
Denn es schenkte ihnen ein
Freund Hein

Damals vor Kap Hoorn, wo die Stürme tosen
Tranken, wenn es schlecht lief, zahlreiche Matrosen
Kaltes Meereswasser statt warme Spirituosen
Und wer schenkte ihnen ein?
Freund Hein

Wie wär’s denn, lieber Freund, du gingest mal ein’ trinken
Mit fiesen Diktatoren, die gehässig winken
Und mit Milliardären, die nach Kohle stinken
Schenk ihnen ordentlich einen ein
Freund Hein

Der Kelch geht nicht vorüber an keiner Menschenseele
Eines Tages rinnt der Schluck hinab auch meine Kehle
Keine halben Sachen, weswegen ich empfehle
Schenk mir man gut einen ein
Freund Hein!
Freund Hein!
Freund Hein!

Look ahead, look astern, look a weather in the lee!
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
I see a wreck to windward and a lofty ship to lee!
A-sailing down along the coast of High Barbary

“O, are you a pirate or a Man-o’-War?” cried we
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
“O no! I’m not a pirate but a Man-o’-War,” cried he
A-sailing down along the coast of High Barbary

We’ll back up our topsails and heave our vessel to
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
For we have got some letters to be carried home by you
A-sailing down along the coast of High Barbary

For broadside, for broadside they fought along the main
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
Until at last the frigate shot the pirate’s mast away
A-sailing down along the coast of High Barbary

“For quarters, for quarters!” the saucy pirates cried
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
The quarters that we showed them was to sink them in the tide
A-sailin’ down along the coast of High Barbary

With cutlass and gun though we fought for hours three
Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
The ship it was their coffin and their grave it was the sea
A-sailing down along the coast of High Barbary

Blow high! Blow low! And so sailed we
A-sailin’ down along the coast of High Barbary

She was a sturdy ship (sturdy ship)
A well-constructed brig
Designed for any sea (any sea)
But alas, she danced a jig
In a rainy storm (rainy storm)
A strong nordic gale
Brave folks went aloft (went aloft)
And stowed every sail

Oh, the fish ate a lot those summer days and nights
But our seaworthy sailors also had an appetite
And to feed the hungry crew we messmates went to work
Did our job in heavy swell between Zealand and Sejerø

Help me folks, I’m swaying in the galley
Wey hey, swaying in the galley
Help me folks, I’m swaying in the galley
Swaying down off Sejerø

As the anchor dropped (anchor dropped)
We moored in the Samsø Belt
No chance of getting further (getting further)
Yet delighted we all felt
There was work to be done (to be done)
But we could barely stand
Some were tied to their berths (to their berths)
So the cook needed a hand

To lift up the spirits of the valiant galley crew
The speakers played the Dreadnoughts and Flogging Molly, too
So we did what we could, had one hell of a time
And for dinner, 6 o’clock, the ship’s bell did chime

Work is never done despite your lazy wishes
Imagine what it meant to do forty sailor’s dishes
Sejerø was steady, shaking was the floor
And we had another watch from midnight until four

I thought I heard this fellow say (hoo)
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
He was, he was from Germanay (ha)
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

And then he started to point out
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
What’s so special about them krauts
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Tu-ra-ey oh Tu-ra-ey
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

“Us German folks ain’t got no style”
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
In socks and sandals he didn’t lie
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Aesthetically we are but fools
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
Our flag ignores heraldic rules
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Tu-ra-ey oh Tu-ra-ey
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

“We love to work but fail to smile
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
And take the car for half a mile”
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

“We need to know about your roots
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
And like to lick a ruler’s boots”
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Tu-ra-ey oh Tu-ra-ey
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

“We get angry without a cause
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
That’s why we started a few world wars”
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Tu-ra-ey oh Tu-ra-ey
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
Tu-ra-ey oh Tu-ra-ey
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

I heard myself reply to him
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey
I was like him of German kin
Hans Kartoffel-toffel, tu-ra-ey

Many years ago when I was just a little lad
When I didn’t find a bank to rob
And this chicken-hearted saddo wasn’t keen to break the law
So I chose to find me a job

Since I ain’t no brave sailor I sat down at a desk
Pressing keys and staring at a screen
Well it didn’t take me long until I realised
All these words, no one knows what they mean

After a couple of months I felt I’d need to move on
And the next job again was on line
The onboarding was done and they said I was on course
I guess I was doing just fine

(And then the boss called)
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
The biggest fish in the net
Made a phishing attack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
Oh will ye please
Please cut me some slack

“What’s the wind in your sails, what’s the North Star for you?”
They asked me at my next interview
I just wanted to leave but I gave it a chance
And I joined the next god-forsaken crew

I only see containers when I stare at my screen (and lighthouse reports!)
Is this the best time we’ve ever had?
Could we drop all the officers at sea level please?
Cause their language drives me so mad

(And then the boss called)
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
The biggest fish in the net
Made a phishing attack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
Oh will ye please
Please cut me some slack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
The biggest fish in the net
Made a phishing attack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
This company feels like a wreck

I’m so sick of this bullshit, this aberration of speech
I cannot bear another metaphor
So I switched from online marketing to retail until
They opened a flagship store

(Maroon me at the furthest shore!)
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
The biggest fish in the net
Made a phishing attack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
Oh will ye please
Please cut me some slack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
The biggest fish in the net
Made a phishing attack
All hands on deck! All hands on deck!
This company feels like a wreck

Standing at the quay
Gazing at the masts
Of the vessel I just came with
And I know things don’t last

Like a fish on dry land
No hope, no rope in my hand
I’m a person of old fashion
Suffering from post-nautical depression

On the train back home
How am I so tired?
Travelling can feel so wrong
If the wind is merely fire

Like a fish on dry land
No hope, no rope in my hand
I’m a person of old fashion
Suffering from post-nautical depression

Oh I want to
Oh I need to
Oh I have to
Oh I must go
Oh I must go again to sea

Like a fish on dry land
No hope, no rope in my hand
I’m a person of old fashion
Suffering from post-nautical depression

Like a fish on dry land
No hope, no rope in my hand
I’m a person full of passion
Suffering from post-nautical depression

Like a fish on dry land
No hope, no rope in my hand
I’m a person with a strange obsession
Suffering from post-nautical depression

Under the waves where the shadows creep
The Orcas are rising from the ocean deep
With a flick of their fins they shatter the night
The boats are their target, they’re ready to fight

The land’s been plundered, poisoned the soil
The ice is melting, the waters boil
Every creature every fish they’re feeling the burn
In a storm of chaos they’re ready to learn
(hear the roar)

It’s not the sirens that you hear
but you wish you were insane
‘Cause you know this time it’s real
when you hear (their battle song)

This is what you get when you cross the line
this is what you get, when the creatures of the ocean (uniiiiite!)
This is for all the fish and chips
The real price you pay
This is Aporcalypse
You’re the prey”

With their shells like tanks in a surge of might
The turtles and the clams are joining the fight
The Manta rays raise their bodies as shields
You see, the oceans are now battlefields

Climbing the cliffs they’re taking the land
No longer the hunted together they stand
From coral to concrete they’re breaking the chains
The rulers of water, the bearers of pain

Hey whaling captain,
you bloody prick
Here comes the revenge of
Moby-Dick
And when you least expect it
you feel the grip
of a furiously angry giant squid

This is what you get when you cross the line
this is what you get, when the creatures of the ocean (uniiiiite!)
This is for all the fish and chips
The real price you pay
This is Aporcalypse
You’re the prey

See the flying fish,
they’re going rogue
They jump into your throat
you choke
Slowly you can’t scream
That’s how feeling nothing
Feels

This is what you get when you cross the line
this is what you get, when the creatures of the ocean (uniiiiite!)
This is for all the fish and chips
The real price you pay
This is Aporcalypse
You’re the prey

Under the waves where the shadows creep
The Orcas are rising from the ocean deep
With a flick of their fins they shatter the night
The boats are their target, they’re ready to fight
(hear the roar)

It’s not the sirens that you hear
but you wish you were insane
‘Cause you know this time it’s real
when you hear (their battle song)

This is what you get when you cross the line
this is what you get, when the creatures of the ocean (uniiiiite!)
This is for all the fish and chips
The real price you pay
This is Aporcalypse
You’re the prey

Every creature every fish they’re feeling the burn
In a storm of chaos they’re ready to learn